Barbara P.

My belief, unlike my personality, is quiet, peaceful and unremarkable. Maybe it will sound strange to some that I would describe it as unremarkable, but there you are. It is as natural to me as breathing that I have a Heavenly Father, that His Son is my Redeemer and that there is a plan – for me, for all of us.
My mother joined the church when I was seven years old, and although I was not born into the church, I was baptized when I was eight. My mother was quite a rebel, so the fruit did not fall far from the tree with me. I have questioned everything through my life, and this was no different. As soon as I hit my teens, I was off down the primrose path. My life until my early twenties consisted of making not-too-great decisions, living for the moment and looking for fun. And oh boy, did I think I was having fun. I could write a book. When my oldest sister got married in the Mesa Temple I came to town from Southern California for the wedding. I ran into an old friend who asked me what I was up to. Without going into much detail, I told her. She smiled and said, “You better get on the stick.” Her words sank in, and although I woke up to some degree, I now realize I wasn’t really taking my eternal salvation seriously.
The next ten years brought a temple marriage, two beautiful children and then divorce. Several moves later I was living in San Diego, happy to be away from the scrutiny of Utah-Mormons, who I had decided were my reason for becoming inactive. Salt Lake City in the early ‘80s was a tough place to be a divorced mother of two small children, and I was weary. Like a mother who allows her toddler to venture away, but not be in danger, the Lord quickly swooped in. I had not attended church in the Rancho Penasquitos 1st Ward, but the long arm of the LDS Church found me, and so did the visiting teachers. Vicki Peace and Nannette Bartholomew showed up at my door every month. Their friendly faces and warm personalities were constant and enduring – and seemingly unremarkable. Their being my friends was as natural as breathing. They never pushed me, they never challenged me, I don’t even remember them inviting me to church – they were just there. The Lord had not forgotten me.
In this new city and new life, there also was a new man in my life. Anyone who knows Steve knows the Lord was watching over me, although I didn’t pay Him much attention. Steve is not a member of the LDS Church, but there is no man is more honorable, upstanding or good-hearted. Surely my Heavenly Father knew I needed this companion. My journey with Steve began May 10, 1986, with wine at the wedding. Notwithstanding the efforts of those stalwart LDS members reaching out to me, I was not ready to be a part of “that world.”
Although I’m sure there are many times he has asked himself, “What was I thinking?!” Steve is not one to do things half-way. He was in this for the long haul, and he jumped in with both feet – Little League coaching, school projects, putting bicycles together on Christmas Eve. What a guy. My children adjusted to a new man in their lives, too. Our life was good.
One day my daughter Autumn asked me, “Mommy, when am I going to get baptized?” Gulp. What do you say to a sweet little 8-year old, with those words hanging in the air? Just as simply as the Lord had always manifested Himself me, He did once again. I made a decision that day – church. Sundays, Relief Society, tithing, lifestyle. All at once, right now, forever. And it really was unremarkable, because I had always believed. Of course He was there. He had always been there.
That was 20 years ago, and I have never looked back. The Lord has sustained me, quietly, consistently and without fanfare. It is His gift to me, every day – and it is as natural as breathing.

- Barbara Proctor